I work for the NHS - of course there's a Doctor in the house... and pharmacists, nurses and other assorted healthcare professionals....

I'm eating it right now. Do you despise me for being so greedy?

Not at all. Greed is something I look for in a friend so that I don't look so bad myself!


Are you going to post in, oh, say about a hour that your tummy hurts so I can say in a snotty voice, "I told you so!" ;)

No. Although that's because I may well be in the pub by then, upping the Kill or Cure to the nth degree.

Would you prefer to talk about you now, rather than me?

No

Will alcohol kill whatever is causing your tummy ache?

Yes - well, that is what I tell myself. It's stopped aching for the time being anyway.

Is it raining where you are?

No, but give it time.

If wishes were horses, would beggars ride?

No.

If you were a beggar, would you be wishing for a horse?

No, I'd be begging for one

Can beggers be choosers?

No

Does a stitch in time save nine?

No that's a common legend. It really only saves 8.523

Do you believe me?

Sure, I'll bite.

Is a bird in the hand better than two in the bush?

No. They are exactly equal. One is not better than another.

Did you pee in the shower this morning?

Nope, because I haven't showered yet today.

Do you ask for booths when you go out to eat?

No, just one.

Have you ever eaten at the bar in a diner?

Yes. That's where the most interesting people are.

Do you talk to the people around you at the bar in the diner?