You turn the clock back a few weeks. Whatever you wish you had or had not done/said/witnessed/experienced is now granted. However, because of the laws of irony, you learn that timeless "be careful what you wish for" lesson. You recover, however, and life goes on pretty much as if nothing had happened. However, one night you start thinking, "If I can go back in time, can't anyone else? How many people are doing it right now? How many have I talked to that are actually reliving the moment for more than one time? If they are experiencing a moment with me for a second time, am I also experiencing it again? What if the current moment isn't current at all, but part of a "past" for someone else? Am I a replayed video, not even alive except for in the memory of another?"

You go batshit insane. The upside is, wolf stops by to visit when her shift is up and you both plot world domination over cookies and milk.

I wish I had worked out this summer.

Scariest corruption ever. 'Cause it could be true. :lol:

Ah, but you did.
You worked out so much that you body has become a hard, chisled, godlike icon to all that know you. But, now, you are a slave to working out. You work out so much that your ego says that you can benchpress more than you should. In the final seconds of your life, as the 900 pound-laden bar slams into your neck, nearly severing your head, the last thought in your mind is "This will end badly."

I wish Microsoft would stop programming Windows to crash on a regular basis.

Microsoft reveals and markets a stupendous new version of Windows that never crashes and always works. However, this is only because the new version, dubbed "Windows 666", has been cursed by Satan, and soon all PC users are merrily computing their way into Hell. Mac owners, as always, are smugly secure in their choice of computers.

I wish closing day was complete.

Granted. Closing day (?) is complete. Unfortunately, there's always a catch, isn't there? Unfortunately, as the day draws to a close, um. Sadly, the day is closed. Completely closed. So closed that there is no memory of it. So completely closed completely that its as if it were never open. :dizzy:


I wish I had a clue about what closing day completion was all about.

You get a clue about what closing day completion is, sadly, its one of those "if I tell you I will have kill you" thingo's and now you must be dead :)

I wish my jeans would stop slipping off my arse.

Granted, the arse keeps slipping off of your jeans, leaving a massive hole in the rear.

I wish I could find the chords to all the Warren Zevon songs.

After years of study, practice, ear training, graduate school, and lessons, you finally sit down to analyze your Warren Zevon collection, only to find that you've become an elitist musical prick and no longer care about Warren Zevon.

If it's not Donald Crockett aleatoric mixed-meter, it's not music!

I wish I had a bacon ciabbatta burger in my hand right now.

The resulting arterial plaque fits right into that tiny little space in your aorta where blood was still getting though, just like a key into a keyhole. As you grab your chest your last memory is of the magnificent taste of that burger, and you realize that you would have rather had a double chocolate shake for your last meal.

I wish I had a maid.

her name is Juaneeta , she cleans like a dream never complaining , untill one day you come home to find that she has cleaned you OUT , every thing even the furniture .


I wish I had a cold beer , right now !!

Juanita brings your beer as well. What goes around comes around Bro.


I wish I didn't get brain freeze from my blender drink.

Ok no more brain freeze , but you can't seem to rember how to hold a glass , or what a glass is , or what what is as you suddenly have NO brain .



I wish I had DSL

You now have a Doctorate in Scientology Living. Good luck with that.

Now I wish I had another blender drink.

You do , but its a Bass-o-Matic version !!!


I wish I could post pics on the cellar !!

Wish granted!! You are able to post many a wonderful pic whenever/where ever you deem fit.

Uh oh, your system gets hacked by some clever lil cellarite and your private collection of ...umm...tasteful poses in your partner's clothes gets posted in the WTF thread :eek2: