Undertoad Wednesday Nov 30 07:20 PM11/30/2005: Stuck burglar
Today's entry comes from the Smoking Gun, and goddamn it's fun to laugh at moron criminals. In this case, this guy tried to rob a hair salon, but when the cops came, he tried escaping through the back window. I love it when a plan comes together. Sez the Gun,
Bleeding and wedged inside the 9-by-15-inch window frame, Dufield was rescued by Concord firefighters and later booked into the local lockup on a felony burglary rap. His case is pending in Concord District Court.
Mav Wednesday Nov 30 07:38 PMI'd definitely say that's a 2005 Darwin Award winner right there
Lucy Wednesday Nov 30 09:03 PMWhat a jaloone.
Elspode Wednesday Nov 30 09:15 PMCan't be a Darwin winner...he didn't die and remove himself from the gene pool.
Could be an honorable mention, though. He could possibly still be a winner if he decides to commit suicide in prison.
capnhowdy Wednesday Nov 30 10:02 PMseems like if he got his shoulders through the windows he would have made it. He must be a real lardass. He needs to grow some whiskers. What a dumb sumbitch. But then, what criminal isn't?
wolf Wednesday Nov 30 10:16 PMI love how he's cuffed although still stuck.
The reverse view might be amusing as well. Shooting him in the ass while stuck would be amusing, but doesn't seem sporting.
Under Florida's castle doctrine, I might have been able to shoot him. Here in Pennsylvania I have to be able to consider him a threat to my life.
In this position he's really only a threat to his own dignity.
Trilby Wednesday Nov 30 10:16 PMThis guy is busting into a hair salon? He's risking life and limb and freedom for hair gel? Not me, no sir. They only thing I'd even consider breaking into would be a pharmacy.
xoxoxoBruce Wednesday Nov 30 10:27 PMFor condoms?
Cyclefrance Thursday Dec 1 07:00 AMThey leave him there, cuff him, but put a band-aid on his cut - wierd!
Troubleshooter Thursday Dec 1 09:13 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Elspode
Can't be a Darwin winner...he didn't die and remove himself from the gene pool.
Could be an honorable mention, though. He could possibly still be a winner if he decides to commit suicide in prison.
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You don't have to die, just effectively remove your ability to taint the gene pool. Like the moron who used the shotgun as a club and shot his balls off.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Darwin_Awards
capnhowdy Thursday Dec 1 09:20 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce
For condoms?
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dar512 Thursday Dec 1 09:57 AMSometimes I despair for our species.
joelnwil Thursday Dec 1 11:35 AM"You don't have to die, just effectively remove your ability to taint the gene pool. Like the moron who used the shotgun as a club and shot his balls off."
Then there was the guy who put his balls in the ball washer at the golf course. He is out of the gene pool. Cannot find the story, though.
BigV Thursday Dec 1 11:45 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by dar512
Sometimes I despair for our species.
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Don't despair, dar.
We *all* start out completely ignorant, and this guy just suffered the bad fortune to have his ability to get around mature faster than his ability to think through.
Cheer instead the fact that we don't just shoot him and leave him for dead. The cops, the medic, and the photographer represent the species too. Half full, dar, half full.
Neurotica Thursday Dec 1 12:15 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by joelnwil
Then there was the guy who put his balls in the ball washer at the golf course. He is out of the gene pool. Cannot find the story, though.
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It's an urban legend.
mlandman Thursday Dec 1 02:09 PMballwasher, darwin awards, etc
Darwin awards are almost ENTIRELY false and made up. More than 90%. Snopes is a wonderful site for disproving crap like that.
glatt Thursday Dec 1 03:07 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by mlandman
Darwin awards are almost ENTIRELY false and made up. More than 90%. Snopes is a wonderful site for disproving crap like that.
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Yeah, but people love them anyway. It appeals to the "I may be stupid, but at least I'm not as stupid as that guy" side of all of us.
Beestie Thursday Dec 1 03:24 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by wolf
Under Florida's castle doctrine, I might have been able to shoot him. Here in Pennsylvania I have to be able to consider him a threat to my life.
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In England, they'd have to make him a sandwich and put a fluffy pillow under the windowsill. And read aloud so he won't get lonely waiting for the Constable. Oh, and a blanket if its chilly.
Trilby Thursday Dec 1 03:26 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by glatt
Yeah, but people love them anyway. It appeals to the "I may be stupid, but at least I'm not as stupid as that guy" side of all of us.
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Yep. Same reason I watch CourtTV.
Wormfood Tuesday Dec 6 03:39 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Beestie
In England, they'd have to make him a sandwich and put a fluffy pillow under the windowsill. And read aloud so he won't get lonely waiting for the Constable. Oh, and a blanket if its chilly.
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In Sweden they would prosecute the houseowner for injuring this guy.
xoxoxoBruce Tuesday Dec 6 11:50 PMWormfood, that's really depressing.
mitheral Saturday Dec 10 02:41 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by capnhowdy
What a dumb sumbitch. But then, what criminal isn't?
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The ones we don't catch.
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