3/30/2004: Bizarre Nigerian pets

A lurker (or otherwise uncredited person) sends this along, thank you! From this site, which appears to collect such things and wrap them around porn banners, the text indicates that hyenas are probably not going to attack live "prey" - as in, the other humans walking around - but that they do have the strongest jaws of any mammal. That factoid is offered with no checking, btw...

The baboons are another story, and it is not clear how common this kind of thing is - having nasty feral animals on chains as pets in the streets in Nigeria, but I personally have no interest in personally going and checking it out. I think they have convinced me I don't want to go. (Do you?)

The only desire I ever had to go to Africa was a vestigial reflex to reinstate an old family tradition.

Does anybody know what the red armbands are about?

Well, I have always wantd to visit Egypt to see the ancient tombs and monuments. But I'm supremely uninterested in seeing any wildlife close up.

Love to do Egypt. Considered other parts of news value, otherwise I write off the whole contintent as a backward disaster-prone hellhole.

Wow. The drug dealers in our country would just love those things. People will see you, be afraid of you and be awed by you at the same time. Forget about a pit bull. It's a fucking hyena!

But putting a muzzle on the one hyena really ruins the effect. I wonder what the details of that story are. Seems like if you are enough of a tough guy to have a hyena for a pet, you aren't going to care if it accidentally bites a kid walking by. It's not like you are going to be subjected to a civil suit in Nigeria.

whatever, massa

your family history does not interest me. the fact that you would post that post is, however, rather enlightening.

no, that's not what I was thinking. And if I need to spell it out for you, you won't hear it anyway.

carry on

Is this what the Nigerians do with all their email scam profits? Buy exotic pets?

Man, that's the last time I'm helping anyone get their millions out of the country.

But it's a new twist, send us your banking information or we'll send these guys to get it.

As it happens... the image is labeled Nigerian Debt Recoverers - in dutch... these guys will get there money for sure !

welcome scubadude. have you seen our pet clam?

Thanks lumberjim... nope... not seen any clams !

lumberjim , thanks for keeping the gutters around here clean...

Do they keep phrases from the Koran tucked in the armbands? I'm having a brain freeze on the tradition...

**drums fingers**

well?

I don't see the problem, Onyx. TS said he is somewhat inclined to resume his family's tradition of slaveholding. LJ called him on it.

I'll stand with LJ on this one. TS's entry was insensitive at best.

I'm wondering if she was surprised that I didn't rake him through it really bad, and defame his character. I was experimenting with subtlety.......It seems to have been effective in this case.

consideration noted......very big of you.

I think what upsets me is that the statement was made as an attempt at humor (IMO). Sure, the joke was in poor taste, and not very funny, but I don't think that it warranted the vitriol with which Jim responded.

I see it as Jim just going off the deep end with it and it makes me want to watch what I post, lest it's seen in an unfavorable light and someone decides its racist or whatever and they sttack my character over a freakin joke.

I sort of snickered at the original "sometimes, I want to go to Africa and enslave people" comment.

After all, comedy = tragedy + time.

If a century and change isn't long enough, well, shit. How long /is/?

woof.

I don;t think I attacked his character. I'm all for jokes and funnies and even insults. But when he hinted at a fondness for owning or at least trading slaves, I simply looked askance at him. Then he tried to back away from the comment by saying it was 4 gens ago.

***sigh*** No, LB is NOT guiding my hand.

vitriolic :acidic; shitty;

TS: The only desire I ever had to go to Africa was a vestigial reflex to reinstate an old family tradition.

LJ: I hope you're not hinting at what I think you're hinting at

TS: That's why I called it a vestigial reflex. Besides, the plantation fell in the river about 20 years ago.

LJ: whatever, massa

TS: Not me. That was at least 4 generations ago.

LJ: your family history does not interest me. the fact that you would post that post is, however, rather enlightening.

TS: That I'm not overburdened with guilt over a historical issue that I had no part in?

LJ: no, that's not what I was thinking. And if I need to spell it out for you, you won't hear it anyway. carry on

TS: I don't believe that you know me well enough to make that assessment. Has there been any point in my time here that I've indicated a lack of desire to accept new ideas? Isn't it worth effort to be sure?

LJ: no. I don;t really care that much about whether or not you are open minded. I just thought it was a fucked up comment. Perhaps you meant it as a harmless joke. Maybe you really are a repressed racist. Either way, my opinion on the matter matters very little. I do know enough about you to know that you will argue well past the point of both of our points being made. I feel like I've made my point. If you have need of more time and more posts to justify your position on this particular matter, go ahead and lay it out. I'll probably read it.
---
I'm wondering if she was surprised that I didn't rake him through it really bad, and defame his character. I was experimenting with subtlety.......It seems to have been effective in this case.


I HAVE read it, and since you "started it" by calling him massa, I think he had every right to defend himself by saying that he is not a slave owner, that it was 4 generations ago. Instead of letting it lie, you then say you don't care that he is not a slave master, but that his post is enlightening. In the context of the post, one would infer you consider him to be racist. Instead of speaking plainly, you attempt to "subtly" call him a racist. TS responds, subtly asking you to speak plainly and cut the crap. You reply with "If I have to explain it you wouldn't listen" passive-aggressiveness, in the process, calling TS closeminded.
He replies he is not closeminded and further says that you can look at his track record here on the cellar to prove it. Then jim say that it really doesn't matter, he's "made his point" although he never clearly stated it, and then says if TS wants to prove that he's not a racist, he'll "probably" read it.

First of all, if you're gonna call someone a racist, call him a racist and don't be a pussy about it. Secondly, if anyone calls ME a racist, and I get my hands on them they'll be eating their nuts for breakfast. Thirdly, it was a fucking joke. And with all the bad jokes you've throw around here, jim, I'd have thought you'd be more understanding instead of calling people a racist.

[/rant]

they have very scary looking bats in their hands to acompany the intimidating choice of pet..

and also, those chains look a little heavy for those poor hyenas, i wonder how well looked after they are?

I was just doing a quick look-see about Nigeria and I ran across this web site.

The 419 Coalition

The Nigerian Scam Defined

A Five Billion US$ (as of 1996, much more now) worldwide Scam which has run since the early 1980's under Successive Governments of Nigeria. It is also referred to as "Advance Fee Fraud", "419 Fraud" (Four-One-Nine) after the relevant section of the Criminal Code of Nigeria, and "The Nigerian Connection" (mostly in Europe). However, it is usually called plain old "419" even by the Nigerians themselves.

...

The Nigerian Scam is, according to published reports, the Third to Fifth largest industry in Nigeria. It is the 419 Coalition view that, in effect, the elites from which successive Governments of Nigeria have been drawn ARE the Scammers - therefore, victims have little recourse in this matter. Monies stolen by 419 operations are almost Never Recovered from Nigeria.

My departmental secretary wants to be a slave, yet she gets a hair up her ass if anyone asks her to type, file, or make coffee.

I don't get it.

Yes, her mid life crisis is going differently than that of many women I know.

Careful there big fella.

Topping at work, especially a newbie, can be an explosive thing.

Go for a mild introduction like a sex tour or class.

You can find info about these and more at this link.

I can vouch for the hostess of this site...she may be a bit behind in the site maintenance but she's one of the best fetish people I know, and that's saying a lot.

Brian

at risk of sounding totally inexperienced and pure ( ) WTF is topping
????

sorry, spodio.

I still like OC. I don't even harbor much ill will toward TS. I was trying to be vague about it at first, but i think it is a topic that OC wants to explore a little further. One of those theories i mentioned. I think that OC sometimes takes a side of an argument for the sake of drawing more out of it.......devils advocate, as it were...... I'm surprised that she has taken the side of TS in this though, because, i think he was definatley in the wrong in saying the things he said. It wasn;t all that big a deal, but it's sure becoming one now, huh?

It IS tricky when two people you like argue. it's bound to happen though, neh? I noticed it when dave attacked Lsyc shortly before he left. Dare I say that I think it might have had some bearing on what went down.

Oh, and OC, i've changed my mind......i'd like my balls poached, not boiled.

It’s strange how someone can hear (read) a statement and form a complete line of what they believe to be logical thought about the motives, attitude and even opinion of that poster.
When I read SM’s comment, I got the impression he was saying he had zero interest in Africa. By saying the ONLY reason he would possibly go there, would be the vestigial urge to revive slave trade, reinforced zero interest because that idea is so ridiculous and outrageous.
It didn’t strike me as a wistful desire to return to the plantation or the least bit racist, but I’m not one to look for hidden meanings. I try not to read too much into offhand comments but if something strikes me as strange, I’d rather ask than accuse.
When you get on your high horse it might turn out to be a tall jackass.

i did start by asking, didnt i?

You pick some odd battles cougar. But if you want to call me a pussy for calling someone on a thinly veiled racist comment that was far from funny, you'd better pack a lunch.


This was never intended to be a battle. I felt something off about your comments that I didn't like, and when pressed, I gave my opinion, which can be bolied down to:

I think it was fucked up that TS made a joke and ended up being called a racist. And of all people, I'm suprised most that it was you doing the insulting. That's what bothered me in the first place. I like you, Jim, but I do not understand why you always feel like you have to stir the shit and open the cans all the time.

And Beestie is correct in that I'm not "taking up" for TS. I just don't agree with how you attempted to say what you said. If you wanna call TS a racist, don't be passive agressive about it, just fucking say it. THAT is the Jim I've come to respect.

And is that a 3 minute poach or you want em runny in the middle?

You guys do realize that you're having an argument about how to have an argument?

no we're not.

Are too.

You've all got sand in your twats.

Oh you're the only one that can be passive agressive now?

whatever, massa.

Incidentally, I *know* I should just let this go. But I can't. I'm really not trying to pick a fight, and I really don't know why I don't just shut up. Probably because I really don't know how to articulate what I feel is wrong, and since I've already fucked it up, I guess I might as well take another bite of the shit sandwich. Anybody got some ketchup?

well, once you figure out what's really bothering you, you let me know. Until then, I'll shut up about it if you will.

Sorry for interrupting the flamefest (although it does appear to have moved to other threads), but I actually wanted to put some comments on the actual picture. My roommate is from Nigeria so I figured he would be a good person to ask about the picture, but I haven't had a chance to talk to him since the picture was posted. Finally I asked him about it this morning.

First off, he's never seen people walking around with hyenas on leashes before, and suggested that that picture was probably taken in certain areas of one of the big cities, possibly the biggest one, in areas you definitely wouldn't want to go (think of the most dangerous inner city areas in the US, with gangs and such, same kind of thing). He said if he could see the guys faces better, he could tell where they're from. He said there's no way people would be keeping hyenas simply as pets, the purpose is definitely for showing off.

About the armbands, he said they're pretty common, made of leather, and a lot of people wear them, especially hunters, and usually use it to carry a knife, with the blade between the armband and the skin. I asked if they were gang related, and he said no, but it's possible the color of the hat might be.

He also suggested another possibility. He said there's a lot of people who practice black magic over there, and one thing they do is write stuff on their arm and then put the armband over it. He said that it gives them a lot of power, and one guy might be able to fight off 20 hyenas at once, or have a wild bear do what it's told, using this black magic. I don't know how much of that I believe is accurate, but he said these people can do some really freaky stuff. Anyway, he said it's most likely these guys are just showing off their powers by keeping hyenas like that.

I didn't ask about the baboons. Maybe it's the same kind of thing?

Faint recollections of Nic Name are floating in my head.

I guess it's a good thing these Nigerians don't have Jews on those chains.

Or Nigerians.

Quote:

Originally posted by ladysycamore Maybe it's best to not make a racist joke period, but that's just me.

goddammit, wolf. That was too easy. no points for that one. low degree of difficulty.

and another thing:

No shit?!

Checked with the Ghanian ... he has no clue about the armband thing.

I was reminded of this thread today when I read this:

http://allafrica.com/stories/200406170377.html

Dead link.

Okeedokee. well, this is the gist of it:

Yoinked from Allafrica.com,


Hyena, Monkey Robbery Gang Arrested

This Day (Lagos)

June 17, 2004
Posted to the web June 17, 2004

Jare Ilelaboye
Katsina

Four armed gang who used a hyena and a monkey to rob their victims in Katsina State have been arrested by the police after a gun duel in Bichi, headquarters of Bichi Local Government of Kano State.

According to a statement made available to newsmen in Katsina, the robbers who were seven in number went to Kankia market in Kankia Local Government of Katsina State to display with the animals while they robbed their victims of N66,000 during their operation.


Shortly after their operation, the statement added, the robbers took to their heels and they were chased by the police down to Bichi in Kano State where they engaged the police in a gun battle which led to the death of two of the robbers.

During the battle with the police, the gang let off the hyena and monkey to fight with the police during which the animals bit one of the policemen who is now lying critically ill at the Katsina General Hospital.

Two of the robbers were killed while four of them arrested on the spot.





The police had however killed the two animals during the fight in Bichi.

Meanwhile, two robbers have been arrested by the police in Funtua for allegedly burgling the home of the former Minister for Special Duties during the Abacha administration in the country Alhaji Wada Nas.

Thanks Mike.

DEAR SIRS

BY GOOD FORTUNE I FOUND YOUR WEBSITE. I AM DOCTOR BUFASTIA KELLINDIKOME FORMER MINISTER OF PETS IN THE NIGERIAN GOVERNMENT. I RECENTLY FOUND A FORGOTTEN PET STORE HERE IN NIGERIA WITH SIXTEEN MILLION (16,000,000) HYENAS AND BABOONS. IF I CAN FIND BY GOD'S HELP AN ASSISTANT TO HELP ME MOVE THESE PETS OUT OF NIGERIA I WILL SHARE THE HYENAS AND BABOONS WITH WHOEVER HELPS ME. I WILL KEEP 65% OF THEM, YOU WILL GET 30% AND 5% WILL GO FOR ANY ADMINISTRATIVE COSTS WE MAY INCUR.

IF YOU CAN HELP PLEASE LET ME KNOW. PLEASE INCLUDE RETURN CONTACT AND BANK ACCOUNT INFORMATON TO ASSIST IN THIS DELICATE TRANSACTION. LOOKING FORWARD TO HEARING FROM YOU SOON.

In all seriousness, though: just what they need in a country with not-terrifically-great health care are pets that can shred you, or literally rip your arm out and beat you to death with it. Lagos, the capital of Nigeria, is noted for being the largest city in the world with no sewer system - 7 million folks the last time I checked. Good luck keeping those wounds clean!

If u wanna see a man who is great at makin fun... try true google or something and look for Azhar Usman....

NAME: AZHAR USMAN
AGE/DOB: 27 Y/O - DECEMBER 23, 1975
HEIGHT: 5' 14"
WEIGHT: SLIGHTLY OVER
EYES/HAIR COLOR: BROWN/BLACK
HOME TOWN: SKOKIE, ILLINOIS
CURRENT TOWN/NEIGHBORHOOD: MORTON GROVE, ILLINOIS
DAY JOB: BLOODSUCKER ... UH, I MEAN, ATTORNEY
HOBBIES: SLEEPING, EATING, NAPPING, AND SNACKING
"I consider myself a very patriotic American Muslim, which I means I would die for this country ... by blowing myself up ... inside a Dunkin Donuts."

Those armbands are a religious thing, a sort of charm, typically they're intended to protect the wearer from something particular. Different ones have different purposes, so you'd have to ask those guys to know what they're for. Maybe they're supposed to protect them from the animals! They can be seen across West Africa, they're not a "tribal" thing as they're not related to a particular tribe. These days in Muslim areas they typically contain verses from the Koran written on a little piece of paper, folded up small and tucked into the puch. That's a repackaging of an older, pre-Islamic tradition where they use other things (I don't know what). Nigeria does not have a Muslim majority, although the north is mostly Muslim, so it's hard to even guess what's in these without more information. Also, unlike most (any?) of you, I actually have been to Africa.

ive never been in Africa, but it is indeed a symbol, but it is one of different things.....some clans use it more as a sign not to mess with them, some have them for more religious reasons, but there s a lot a contradiction around it...
The "modern" africans say they dont believe in the power of sign anymore ...the more traditional keepin the faith...its like everywhere in the world...I work with a lot of refugees from several different african country's and the story's i hear sometimes...

Welcome to the Cellar, latjoor.

I, too, have been to Africa. Djibouti. SA. I was not impressed.

My mother's been to Ghana, Africa, does that count?

SA was (and is) is most places occupied by White people...You can still see the influences.....some places i hear are real nice.....there is a difference in SA and A , and Ghana counts off course....U move 1 bench forward!

When one of our psychiatrist's retires to Ghana I have an open invitation to join him as the head of security for his compound ...

In case anyone's interested, there's a photographer who's put up a series of photos of the Hyena People of Nigeria: link to Pieter Hugo's gallery

Cool, thanks Fresh.