May 26, 2009: Tapster

Feeling a little hung over today?
Little too much beer yesterday?

Well it's not your fault, Bunky. Those beer brewers, conspiring with the container companies, make it too damn easy.
They've made the containers too easy to open... all it takes is a little pop, or twist, or flip, to get the suds flowing like
the Mississippi River. Why it's a wonder more people don't drown.

Now back in the day, when we walked through 2 feet of snow, uphill both ways, beer cans were steel.
We had to work to get them open and that was after we searched for the church key. Likely as not after all that activity,
we had to wait for the suds to settle down a little before we could drink it, too.

Of course the rich people could afford a Tapster...



Revere up in Rome, NY, made this handy item so the hired help... or the spouse if you weren't really rich but just acting uppity...
could pop a cold can in the Tapster and pour. Just closing the lid opened the can.

Ain't that classy?

link

Makes me wanna gag... I bet the beer all runs down around the can body so it can wash all the yuck from everyone who ever touched the can off,(including Bubba with the anal chancres), into the mug.

I was thinking this was some way of violating beer copyright.

Yet another reason why whiskey is a better choice.
I actually remember the church key days. And I have popped a few pop tops in my day, making those long pop top chains and hanging them from the rear view mirror of my hot rod. Pop tops also doubled as a great disposable roach clips. Ahhh... back n the day.

The very first pop tops were good for amputating your finger tips.

And there were prolly a few bass killed by them in America's ponds and lakes. There was a huge fine down here for throwing them in the water for a while.

The students at Uni made door curtains out of those chains.

Whisky, church keys, pop tops, pop top chains, hot rods, roach clips, and anal chancres. Good times, good times...