7/29/2002: Navel fluff collection

Only days after the toenail collection guy comes the navel fluff collection guy. This gent appears to have two decades' worth.

"Over the last 18 years my navel has accumulated an average of 3.03 milligrams of fluff each day, with little variation between one day and the next. Weighing such small quantities with any accuracy requires a large sample collected over a long period, and I doubt that many people have done this, so its not known whether the volume of fluff generated by my navel is any indication of what is normal."

Again, friends, let your freak flag fly.

Does the Army have a fluff collector as well?

Profile: The navel is a slightly puckered and serrated innie. He is 33-37, divorced, white, with a passion for flannel and precision Dremel tools.

y'know, this is almost worse than coprophilia...

Labels

I like that he has them cleared labeled with the date and the words "navel fluff". So he doesn't confuse them with his collection of dust bunnies, I assume.

He needs to stop wearing cotton. No more navel fluff.

Re: Labels

A collector of fluff, huh? With over two jars' worth, I guess that would make him quite a fluffer.

or a fluffer nutter

What gets me is the different colors. Almost as if he decided to wear only red shirts for a couple months, then switched to another color.

Then again, I already know more about this guy than I really want to...

My theory is all the picking meant it was bleeding. I hope noone was eating diner.

It could just be that the older stuff has faded?

In this longitudinal study, color patterns, strata, appear. He undoubtably has his favorite shirt, his "golden boy" as it were. The change in color occurs when another garment rises to the coveted status in his laundry/wardrobe rotation. There is much to learn.