September 14, 2006: Love in the Dew

... a narrative by xoxoxoBruce.


It was a dark and stormy night.
No...wait...it was a dim and foggy morning.
Mr Spider was sleeping in.


A little damp but living large....yes, plump and juicy.



It looks like the neighbor, Ms Mantis, is doing her morning yoga.


Ms mantis says, "Excuse me, I'm going to Mr Spider's for breakfast."


Mr Spider, waiting for breakfast to fly in, gets a smooch from Ms Mantis.


Ms Mantis kisses and nibbles Mr Spider's fingers....the tease.


Mr Spider seems to have lost control and spooged all over.


"Oh dear, Ms Mantis", he says, "let me get you a towel."


Mr Spider, being very embarrassed, has just gone to pieces.


But Ms Mantis, having been around the block, is very forgiving.
To prove she's not offended, she'll tidy up before she leaves.

A whole love story played out before the dew dries.

Gross...

This animal-themed IOTD comes pre-eaten!

It is kinda hard to tell what is going on with the legs all over the place... but very interesting. I think I like the story that goes along with it the most.

It almost sounds like a children's story.

(What with all the anthromorphic thing going on...)

I think Mr. Spider was trying to make Ms. Mantis a silk peignoir.

UT, you just reawakened my crippling fear of spiders.
You can just rock me to sleep tonight!

hahaha info re: praying mantis:

I decided to look up the praying mantis to see if spiders were part of their prey.

First hit I found:

http://www.insecta-inspecta.com/mant...ing/index.html

Amazing!

I like "spiders and even spiders". The odd spiders are safe for now...

Quote:

Originally Posted by bigw00dy ....and hummingbirds as well....

it's only hummingbird sized. a bit bigger than a quarter. I feel a photoshop urge coming... must... resist...

I dunno foot. That flower looks bigger than a quarter. Plus I found this on Wikipedia:

The Bee Hummingbird (Mellisuga helenae) is the smallest bird in the world, weighing 1.8 grams. A more typical hummingbird, such as the Rufous Hummingbird (Selasphorus rufus), weighs approximately 3 g and has a length of 10-12 cm (3.5-4 inches).

In any case, I still wouldn't stand next to the thing.

pausing

Thanks a lot... this was awesome and made my day!

They WON"T spit in your eye, either.

Mind if I save these for backgrounds? Won't use them for anything else.

Enjoy.

Yay!

Was that a balsamic vinegarette she used on that spider?

I was menaced by a praying mantis at work the other night.

I was peacefully standing outside on the porch and I noticed a mid-sized mantis (about 4 inches) clinging to the door to the nuthouse.

I was admiring it when it suddenly decided that I looked like a better perch than the glass door. It leapt at my chest, in a particularly aggressive manner.

I screamed. No. I didn't. I shrieked.

They aren't used to hearing me shriek at work.

It had a particularly vicious streak in it, so noting my discomfort, it lept onto my bare arm and started making it's way toward my face.

So I shrieked a lot. Again.

Now, of course, this is a Praying Mantis. Like everyone else I have know since childhood that they are cool, nice helpful insects, and they eat other icky bugs, and they do all kinds of cool things. I also, like everyone else, know incorrectly, that it's against the law to kill one.

My coworkers came running to my rescue, but once it was established that my attacker wasn't Bob the Crazy Guy who Sleeps on the Porch Sometimes getting angry over us not being able to give him coffee any longer they wandered off, leaving me to deal with this beast from outer space.

With lots of saying of "eeeuaw, eeeuaw, eeeeuaw" I gently tried to coax the thing onto my hand so I could return it to the garden where it clearly belonged. Instead, it decided that it would be much happier in the foyer, causing me to have to chase it around a small enclosed area.

It eventually responded to my entreaties to move outside.

(PRAYING MANTIS – Spiritual Realms. Praying Mantis brings you a strong, clear connection to the spiritual realms. It facilitates moving beyond the visible and everyday and supports devotion to Spirit.)

Just google the picture. I think the site i got the picture from says that the hummingbird 'was' about 2".

eeeek

eeekkk...hate spiders...a little phobic(sp?) of them...i remember going into the bathroom one night and finding one of the size of my palm (adult) on the wall...went back out and used the other bathroom....brr....

hi

i stumbled upon this site few days ago...and man!i've been browsing through the images since then...i'm still browsing through the archives...amazed everything is still here(the images,links,etc..) although i am still on Jan 2005...i've decided to register and maybe join in the posts...since i've found some things to be..err...what's the correct word...corrected? i don't want to post it here as it has nothing to do with the IotD..hehe

anyways...great work...great pictures...i like!will check iotD everyday.....until i've done with all iotDs...hehehe

Praying Mantises (sp? Manti? Mantae?) always remind me of nursery school where we had two kept in an aquarium. Got to watch it eat lots of leaves and stuff and then one day they did you-know-what and we got to watch her eat him...

Quote:

Originally Posted by ladyangevil eeekkk...hate spiders...a little phobic(sp?) of them...i remember going into the bathroom one night and finding one of the size of my palm (adult) on the wall...went back out and used the other bathroom....brr.... hi i stumbled upon this site few days ago...and man!i've been browsing through the images since then...i'm still browsing through the archives...amazed everything is still here(the images,links,etc..) although i am still on Jan 2005...i've decided to register and maybe join in the posts...since i've found some things to be..err...what's the correct word...corrected? i don't want to post it here as it has nothing to do with the IotD..hehe anyways...great work...great pictures...i like!will check iotD everyday.....until i've done with all iotDs...hehehe

TQ BigV!! =)

Absolutely, we love being corrected. Could I be so bold as to request you wear a leather bustier and net stockings when you do.

I second, Big V's welcome to the Cellar.

we had a mantis sitting on the wall by my back door 2 nights ago. everyone in my family thinks they are cool, so we sat around witching it for about 30 minutes. Always happy when we have mantises visting us. Every summer we seem to get 2 or 3 - we go out of our way to protect the egg casings (and my neighbors do too) - so we always have a few around

Looks awesome on my desktop... thank you.

I think you would be correct by saying praying mantis or preying mantis. These guys can swiftly munch on some grindage.

Or....

Reminds me of this story Ubergeek:

The Squirrel Grenade (EXTREMELY funny article)
pvpforums.com ^ | Jan 18, 2004 | by T-Duck
http://cuagain.manilasites.com/stories/storyReader$287

I never dreamed slowly cruising through a residential neighborhood could be so incredibly dangerous! Studies have shown that motorcycling requires more decisions per second, and more sheer data processing than nearly any other common activity or sport. The reactions and accurate decision making abilities needed have been likened to the reactions of fighter pilots! The consequences of bad decisions or poor situational awareness are pretty much the same for both groups too.

Occasionally, as a rider I have caught myself starting to make bad or late decisions while riding. In flight training, my instructors called this being "behind the power curve". It is a mark of experience that when this begins to happen, the rider recognizes the situation, and more importantly, does something about it. A short break, a meal, or even a gas stop can set things right again as it gives the brain a chance to catch up.

Good, accurate, and timely decisions are essential when riding a motorcycle.at least if you want to remain among the living. In short, the brain needs to keep up with the machine.

I had been banging around the roads of east Texas and as I headed back into Dallas, found myself in very heavy, high-speed traffic on the freeways. Normally, this is not a problem, I commute in these conditions daily, but suddenly I was nearly run down by a cage that decided it needed my lane more than I did. This is not normally a big deal either, as it happens around here often, but usually I can accurately predict which drivers are not paying attention and avoid them before we are even close. This one I missed seeing until it was nearly too late, and as I took evasive action I nearly broadsided another car that I was not even aware was there!

Two bad decisions and insufficient situational awareness.all within seconds. I was behind the power curve. Time to get off the freeway. I hit the next exit, and as I was in an area I knew pretty well, headed through a few big residential neighborhoods as a new route home. As I turned onto the nearly empty streets I opened the visor on my full-face helmet to help get some air. I figured some slow riding through the quiet surface streets would give me time to relax, think, and regain that "edge" so frequently required when riding. Little did I suspect.

As I passed an oncoming car, a brown furry missile shot out from under it and tumbled to a stop immediately in front of me. It was a squirrel, and must have been trying to run across the road when it encountered the car. I really was not going very fast, but there was no time to brake or avoid it-it was that close.

I hate to run over animals.and I really hate it on a motorcycle, but a squirrel should pose no danger to me. I barely had time to brace for the impact.

Animal lovers, never fear. Squirrels can take care of themselves!

Inches before impact, the squirrel flipped to his feet. He was standing on his hind legs and facing the oncoming Valkyrie with steadfast resolve in his little beady eyes. His mouth opened, and at the last possible second, he screamed and leapt! I am pretty sure the scream was squirrel for, "Banzai!" or maybe, "Die you gravy-sucking, heathen scum!" as the leap was spectacular and he flew over the windshield and impacted me squarely in the chest.

Instantly he set upon me. If I did not know better I would have sworn he brought twenty of his little buddies along for the attack. Snarling, hissing, and tearing at my clothes, he was a frenzy of activity. As I was dressed only in a light t-shirt, summer riding gloves, and jeans this was a bit of a cause for concern. This furry little tornado was doing some damage!

Picture a large man on a huge black and chrome cruiser, dressed in jeans, a t-shirt, and leather gloves puttering maybe 25mph down a quiet residential street.and in the fight of his life with a squirrel. And losing.

I grabbed for him with my left hand and managed to snag his tail. With all my strength I flung the evil rodent off the left of the bike, almost running into the right curb as I recoiled from the throw.

That should have done it. The matter should have ended right there. It really should have. The squirrel could have sailed into one of the pristinely kept yards and gone on about his business, and I could have headed home. No one would have been the wiser. But this was no ordinary squirrel. This was not even an ordinary pissed-off squirrel. This was an evil attack squirrel of death!

Somehow he caught my gloved finger with one of his little hands, and with the force of the throw swung around and with a resounding thump and an amazing impact he landed square on my back and resumed his rather anti-social and extremely distracting activities. He also managed to take my left glove with him!

The situation was not improved. Not improved at all. His attacks were continuing, and now I could not reach him. I was startled to say the least. The combination of the force of the throw, only having one hand (the throttle hand) on the handlebars, and my jerking back unfortunately put a healthy twist through my right hand and into the throttle. A healthy twist on the throttle of a Valkyrie can only have one result. Torque. This is what the Valkyrie is made for, and she is very, very good at it. The engine roared as the front wheel left the pavement. The squirrel screamed in anger. The Valkyrie screamed in ecstasy. I screamed in.well.I just plain screamed.

Now picture a large man on a huge black and chrome cruiser, dressed in jeans, a slightly squirrel torn t-shirt, and only one leather glove roaring at maybe 70mph and rapidly accelerating down a quiet residential street.on one wheel and with a demonic squirrel on his back. The man and the squirrel are both screaming bloody murder.

With the sudden acceleration I was forced to put my other hand back on the handlebars and try to get control of the bike. This was leaving the mutant squirrel to his own devices, but I really did not want to crash into somebody's tree, house, or parked car. Also, I had not yet figured out how to release the throttle.my brain was just simply overloaded. I did manage to mash the back brake, but it had little affect against the massive power of the big cruiser.

About this time the squirrel decided that I was not paying sufficient attention to this very serious battle (maybe he is a Scottish attack squirrel of death), and he came around my neck and got IN my full-face helmet with me. As the faceplate closed partway and he began hissing in my face I am quite sure my screaming changed tone and intensity. It seemed to have little affect on the squirrel however. The rpm's on The Dragon maxed out (I was not concerned about shifting at the moment) and her front end started to drop. Now picture the large man on the huge black and chrome cruiser, dressed in jeans, a very ragged torn t-shirt, and wearing one leather glove, roaring at probably 80mph, still on one wheel, with a large puffy squirrel's tail sticking out his mostly closed full-face helmet. By now the screams are probably getting a little hoarse.

Finally I got the upper hand.I managed to grab his tail again, pulled him out of my helmet, and slung him to the left as hard as I could. This time it worked.sort-of. Spectacularly sort-of, so to speak.

Picture the scene. You are a cop. You and your partner have pulled off on a quiet residential street and parked with your windows down to do some paperwork.

Suddenly a large man on a huge black and chrome cruiser, dressed in jeans, a torn t-shirt flapping in the breeze, and wearing one leather glove, moving at probably 80mph on one wheel, and screaming bloody murder roars by and with all his strength throws a live squirrel grenade directly into your police car.

I heard screams. They weren't mine...

I managed to get the big motorcycle under directional control and dropped the front wheel to the ground. I then used maximum braking and skidded to a stop in a cloud of tire smoke at the stop sign at a busy cross street.

I would have returned to fess up (and to get my glove back). I really would have. Really. But for two things. First, the cops did not seem interested or the slightest bit concerned about me at the moment. One of them was on his back in the front yard of the house they had been parked in front of and was rapidly crabbing backwards away from the patrol car. The other was standing in the street and was training a riot shotgun on the police cruiser.

So the cops were not interested in me. They often insist to "let the professionals handle it" anyway. That was one thing. The other? Well, I swear I could see the squirrel, standing in the back window of the patrol car among shredded and flying pieces of foam and upholstery, and shaking his little fist at me. I think he was shooting me the finger. That is one dangerous squirrel.

And now he has a patrol car.

I took a deep breath, turned on my turn-signal, made an easy right turn, and sedately left the neighborhood. As for my easy and slow drive home? Screw it. Faced with a choice of 80mph cars and inattentive drivers, or the evil, demonic, attack squirrel of death...I'll take my chances with the freeway. Every time. And I'll buy myself a new pair of gloves.

Philip J. Boer
grinner323(at)sbcglobal(dot)net

They (mantids) must be incredibly fast to catch hummingbirds! WOW.

This is the point at which I started laughing