August 24, 2006: Longest fingernails

Enough with all the seriousness of the world. This woman in Salt Lake City decided in 1979 that she'd had it with filing her nails down. Now they're 33 inches long and she's going in the Guinness Book.

full story

OK. This is strange. I remember as a kid looking at that entry in Guinness and wondering WTF. But now, my imagination is really running.

How does she sleep? What position can she get in that would actually be comfortable and not some strange compromise of comfort/nail protecting mode?

How does she wipe after going to the bathroom #1 or #2?

How does she really do anything? Hold a pen? Drive a car?

I'd really like to see a video of her doing basic stuff that we take for granted.

How does she brush her hair? Paint her nails?

There is a video at the bottom of the article. Half of it is some other women, but the second half is this woman

That video was amazing. She seems to have adapted remarkably well.

The most amazing thing was watching her thread the nails through the loops of the scissors so she could cut the kid's hair. I'm really impressed with how she can live with those things.

What strikes me is that both women talk about all the attention their freakishly long and, in my opinion, grotesque nails affords them.

The chick in the video with the long toenails? Vomworthy.

What's the freaking point? (Pun not intended.)

Fingernails don't bother me as much as the toenails did. They are just disgusting. Could you imagine walking around with those in a crowd? Either you're losing a toenail or slicing someone's achilles tendon. Ew

Wasn't there some indian guy with much longer nails (on one hand) than that? There's a picture of him in my year 2000 Guinnes world records book, but he's not on the site anymore and I can't find him on google

The picture is flipped. Or she's wearing her wedding ring on the wrong finger.

Any video of her giving a hand job? *That* I would really like to see.

It plays all the way through for me :p ... The nails seem flexible and a lot of the time she can bend them back out of the way. The spookiest thing was seeing her thread her fingernails through the sleeve of her jacket before putting her arm in the sleeve

OK, forget the nails. (Is that even possible?) I could never go to a hairdresser with hair that horrifying.

She is one sick little puppy. Yuck.

Gross.

How does she wipe her arse?

What a waste of a life. She could be helping save the world .... and she grows fingernails?

Doing things to make hygiene more difficult, don't sound like a good plan to me.

Yeah, I KNOW there's some indian dude with fingernails so long they just roll into a massive spiral. Maybe they decided he doesnt count cause he only has it on one hand?

Can we just club her like a baby seal?

Hideho.
I'm thinking this is a wig she is wearing.
I'm imagining it hangs off a peg in her specially engineered bathroom, and each morning she steps under and it wraps itself around her naturally bald scalp. Look Ma, no hands.
It may be an intelligent wig, and may, in actuality, be the only sentinent part of her.
In fact, it is a member of an alien species, wearing an outrageous human form so bizarre no one will notice its' seventeen beady little eyes. Classic case of misdirection... and sleight of hand?

i bet those things make a helluva good booger scraper.

<glass half full>

and I agree with whoever said this is a waste of time/effort. it's just so ... pointless. go do something else with your life. but this is the state of the world - everything is about being the biggest, the most, the longest.

But, you see, it is her life. It's the thing that defines her now. Her claim to fame.

You can imagine what a huge pain in the ass they are, maybe literally. They scare children, repulse many people, they control, or at least highly affect, every aspect of her life. That said, she's persisted with them, so the attention they bring must be what drives her.

Class A attention whore.

she must be the inspiration behind "edward scissorhands" - and it is not only the nails! also the very special hair.

by the way here is the indian guy with the REALLY longest fingernails of the world. maybe the people promoting her think that India is not on this planet...

Since the Guinness Book is in the UK, maybe the publisher is pissy about that ingrate colony.
By Jove, we'll take away their fingernail record....that will teach that Gandhi bloke.

I imagine there are different categories i the Guinness book. She has them on both hands, which I had never seen before. So maybe that's the category she is in.

And I can see how this happens. She doesn't clip them for a while, and they just slowly get longer. She gets used to them. I bet it has been very easy for her to adjust to having these, since it was so gradual. Now if she cuts them off, she's making a bold change. She's in a rut with no courage to get out.

Think how the average woman reacts when she breaks a nail. Now multiply that by 17 levels of insanity. Her husband will rue the day he asks her to do something that results in that broken nail.

To each their own and all that, but... gross in my opinion.

I don't reckon She would make it very far as a jell-o wrestler. And I agree that a hand job would be out of the question. These things could really put your eye out.

She looks like a negative image of Elvira.

Kiddy wading pool?

As others here have already said, WHY!!!! Woman, you are a waste of skin, slice and dice yourself. But at least she'll never have an itch she can't scratch.

BTW, xoxoxobruce, Guinness are Irish. And another thing - George W Bush and his pursuit of the global American Dream. Kinda makes Brit bashing pointless on your part. Nuff said!

Yeah, Irish...I knew that.
But chill out, Tin Man. I'm not bashing anyone. Just a little humour, ok?

Lol! Hi, xoxoxbruce, we do seem to cross our humour swords, don't we? As I said in another thread we were on, I was having a bad day that day and was a touchy old sod. I've got my funny bone back in place now. Even so, I think you miss the humour in my putdowns as well. Or maybe I don't have funny typing fingers. Ah well, we must share a chat and pint of Guinness sometime.

I must say that I took Tin Man's user title seriously and decided not to rise to the bait in case it proved me to be a moron (sorry , xob, I don't think of you that way, y'know ... ). I'll buy you a Guinness while you're over here, too ...

Jumping on a barely perceived bandwagon - I'd buy Bruce a Guinness if he came to the UK too.

In fact I'll buy any Dwellar one. If you come to Leicester I'll throw in an All You Can Eat Curry. Otherwise it's just a drink of your choice.

Clearly xoB must go, because he'll be off his ass in free beer!

I have this fantasy where I'm rich enough to go around the world meeting all Dwellars who would be interested in a handshake and a beer and a friendly conversation.

Well UT, since you've decided to marry the fabulous Jacquelita for love, instead of some wealthy heiress for money, we'll have to find another way.

I'm up for a go at filtering some of that British beer. I'll ask my boss if I can borrow a 747, and we'll take the whole crew.....and we won't have to take our shoes off.

So, SundaeGirl, I can arrange cheap accommodation (self-catering @ £15/person/night, catered will cost a leetle more) in my neck of the woods, for about 23 Dwellars. Could you match that in your part of the world - can we, and any other UK Dwellars, organise a Cellar tour of the UK, I wonder, with advice on the cheapest/best routes from A to B ... ?

Just happened to see another news story about this woman, and they included an extra tidbit:

She better sell... they may poach her ass for an aphrodisiac.

"you want crazy chick nail soup? $400 a thimble? Get yer' yang up!"

via Fark, followup

http://www.sltrib.com/news/ci_11688862

Pileup shatters SLC woman's fingernail record

You could use them as decorative curtains.

august 24, 2006.

my 36th birthday

i have no recollection of it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by lumberjim august 24, 2006. my 36th birthday i have no recollection of it.

How did this woman get dressed? How do you zip a zipper or button a button with those things?

or wipe your arse?

Or fasten your seat belt.

Or pick your nose? Come on...

Quote:

Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce Or fasten your seat belt.